There’s nothing more satisfying than catching a liar in the act, whether it’s a fake friend or a conniving co-worker.
Several recent Reddit threads have asked people for their snake-wrangling stories, and the resulting stories featured two-faced toddlers, deceptive dealerships, exhausting exes, and, yes, some real-live reptiles.
Here are twenty-four of the best!
“Oh man, there was a mechanic in my hometown…
One of my friends goes in and gets something done. The mechanic says he needs new radiator hoses, so this kid pays for new hoses. A few months later, his mom takes the car back in for an oil change, and guess what, the same mechanic says she needs new radiator hoses! She tells her husband, and her husband drops by. This is where it gets good.
Husband: “You said I needed new radiator hoses, right?”
Husband: “How long are those supposed to last”
Mechanic: “A few years, then they get rigid and run the risk of leaking.”
Husband: “I got my radiator hoses changed out a few months ago, would you sign an affidavit saying that the last mechanic to work on my car charged me for work he didn’t do?”
The husband then used the affidavit to sue the mechanic for three times the cost of the work.” (deleted)
“A girl I go to school with did everything she could for attention. She walked into class one day with a huge bruise on her cheek, claiming that she had been punched in the face at a party. Fast-forward a few days and we’re both at a mutual friend’s house, she still has the “bruise” and won’t stop talking about it and trying to make us feel bad for her. Upon looking a little closer, I see that the “bruise” is slightly sparkly. It’s obviously makeup. So I tell her that I have something to put on bruises to make them heal faster, and she agrees to try it out. It was actually makeup remover. I put some on a cotton pad and with one swipe, the bruise was gone. At first, she tried to keep the lie going, saying, “Wow! That stuff really works!” and such, but then she gave up and stormed out of the house, throwing a fit.” (twlohaliyah)
“My boyfriend used to work third shift at a popular gas station on the East Coast. He worked with one of those notoriously terrible coworkers that call in all the time with tons of excuses. Well, one night, she called out saying that she was sick, that she was vomiting and feverish, couldn’t come in, sorry. The only person available to work her shift was the district manager, who happened to be in the area for a meeting. DM comes in and works the cash with my boyfriend. Around 3AM, who should walk in but the called-out coworker, wasted beyond belief. She bought two rolls of Tums and ate one while waiting in line. Waiting in line for the DM to ring her up…and fire her on the spot.” (Nifferpls)
“When I was younger one of my SNES games went missing and I was pretty sure it was a close friend of mine who’d taken it. I loved him dearly so didn’t want to upset him and confront him about it so I came up with a cunning plan. I told my friend that I thought one of my games had gone missing and that I’d notified the police. I also mentioned that I’d recently had my games chipped which the police could track so I was fairly confident that I’d have it back soon. He was around my house within two hours to “help me look for it”. He didn’t even subtly look for 5 minutes, he went straight to my front room sofa and magically produced the game and said “look you silly idiot, it’s here! You’d better let the police know!” I even pretended to ring the police to report it found. Still love the guy.” (terpsiterpsi)
“I used to be a substitute teacher. I had classroom teachers regularly calling me to return, so I had gotten to know this particular class and, more specifically, this particular student. On this day, there was a milk and cookies thing for kids and their reading mentors, sort of as a thank you. I had a list of kids who had mentors and were excused to go greet the volunteers and enjoy the cookies.
Let it be known that J was not on this list.
At one point in the class, J has my permission to go to the bathroom (nowhere near the library). “Ok, J, you can go, but don’t you dare go to the library – you know it’s just for the mentors.” (He had already attempted to blatantly ask “Miss, can I go get a cookie?”)
About fifteen minutes later (a bit much for a second grader to be in a bathroom by himself) he returned.
I looked at him and asked where he had been.
“Bathroom.” (No eye contact).
I saw crumbs on his shirt and went with my gut.
“Really? You didn’t go to the library?”
“Nope. Just the bathroom.”
“Mmm. What kind of cookie was it?”
“Chocolate chi- dang.”‘ (extremelyincredibly)
“I met this dude who wanted to join my band, and he was a huge Pearl Jam and Rolling Stones fan. So I had asked him If he was a fan of the band “stone sessions”, a band I made up on the spot. He told me he had every one of their albums. The look on his face was priceless when I told him I made up the band.” (joseadan88)
“Was dating a woman I was fairly certain was cheating on me. One night she broke plans with me in a rather unexpected way, citing that she was simply too worn out to hang. The next day on our way to the mall:
Me: So I stopped by your place last night to talk. Rang the doorbell and knocked for like ten minutes, but you never answered. (The trap is laid.)
Her: Yeah, I know. I heard you but I just didn’t feel like getting out of bed. (The mouse examines the cheese.)
Me: You heard me? (The spring tenses.)
Her: Like you said, you were knocking and ringing the bell for like ten minutes. How could I not? (Mouse bites cheese.)
Me: Because I was never there. Clearly neither were you. (SNAP!)” (Mourde)
“Not me, but a good friend, who is pretty awkward. She went to church group with a friend, and the leader of the group was picking on her the whole night. She’s an easy target, as she’s sweet and blundering. She leaned over to grab something, and her shirt rode up a little bit. The leader shouted ‘Ewww! I can see your underwear!’ My friend shouted back ‘No you can’t! And you’re a liar. I’m not wearing underwear!’” (thatswhatzesaid)
“Ex-husband: “No, I’m not having an affair!”
Me: “Well, then why do I have two hundred pages worth of IMs, texts, and emails with sexual content sent between you and her?”
Him: “I, uh, I was hacked!”
Me: “For 4 and a half years?”
Me: “How did the hackers get these 37 photos of you nude?”
Him (and I shit you not!): “That’s not me.”
Spoiler: it was definitely him, birthmark, pasty fatness, and all.” (iarecylon)
“There is a guy I work with who got nicknamed “Lips”, you can tell Lips is lying if his lips are moving. Lips is one of those guys that if he hears you do/or have done something he has also done it and he did it way better than you. I’ve been doing Brazilian Jiu-jitsu for a few years, I’m not particularly good or anything, I’m a small guy, and I don’t really talk about it so most people wouldn’t know. One morning a bunch of us are talking about having watched the fights over the weekend and Lips starts talking about his pro MMA career and how good he was and how he’s so strong they made him get tested for steroids, bear in mind he’s a severely overweight 22-year-old. I invite him to train with us, and he actually shows up, probably thinking he can bs his way through. I recorded the training session and emailed it out to our coworkers where this 6’2″ 260lb guy gets tooled by a 120 lb teenage girl.” (ImHavingAWeirdDay)
“I was checking ID’s in a club and a kid handed me my own that I had lost many years ago. I started questioning him and he knew my parents’ names, my address, DOB, etc. The kid had been studying since my family name is really hard to pronounce. He even went as far as to sign a piece of paper imitating my signature. When I told him it wasn’t his ID he insisted it was and threatened to call the police. In that moment, I pulled my wallet, showed him my ID and told him I would be keeping the old one. His face was priceless, the rest of the bouncers and I had a good laugh.” (Ysasmendi)
“I had a manager who was the worst of compulsive liars. She said she was a playboy bunny cocktail waitress at a certain club. Well… My aunt just happened to be the accountant and payroll clerk for that very club during the years Liar McLiarface worked there, and my aunt didn’t know her at all. She said her only child, her daughter, died of a drug overdose. A few months later she brings her grandson in and after carefully asking questions- it comes out that his mom was alive and well. She said her husband died in Vietnam. Since she talked about him all the time, it wasn’t hard to try and look him up. He never fought in Vietnam. My last day there, I printed up all my proof, and had my aunt take pics of proof that she was an accountant for the Playboy club, and one by one called her out – in front of everyone.” (StarVixen)
“Worked in a call center, we have software for managing the calls obviously. The software gives us details such as when the person called in, if they were transferred to us or called directly, how long they were holding, and more. I received a call from the queue, answer it, and the guy says “Yeah thanks, I’ve been on hold for 30 minutes!
I say ” Sir it says here you were on hold for 2 minutes and 19 seconds.”
Guy: “Oh okay, so anyway…”‘ (Cactrot)
“I used to work for a computer store and a guy came up to me to buy a Western Digital hard drive (fully sealed). I rang him up and he left. I was then moved to customer service (aka returns). 15 minutes later, he comes by asking for a refund. He says the hard drive has a brick in it. I take the box and I remember what these feel like (since I also stack them) and it’s a lot heavier than what I sold him. Sure enough – red brick.
I excused myself to pretend to talk to a manager and instead went to the security office and asked them to scan the parking lot. We found the guy opening the box and stuffing the brick into it.
I came back out and asked if he knows that we have cameras out in the parking lot. He took his brick and I never saw him again.” (SsurebreC)
“Lube tech at a Jiffy Lube tried to convince me that I needed a radiator service on a car that didn’t have a radiator. He even showed me a PH strip to “prove” that the fluid had gone acidic. I told him if he could show me the radiator, I’d cheerfully pay for the service. His face when he opened my car’s trunk (where most cars keep their hoods) was pretty priceless.” (wintertash)
“So I drive a very nice luxury/performance sports car, and on this particular night, I had driven it to a friend’s and parked it in an area that is easily visible to the street and is near a good amount of bars.
When I come back down, there’s this guy and three girls around the car, and he’s telling them he lives in the condos next to the lot and he just forgot his keys to the car up there. He keeps talking about being “VP of investments” for some company I’ve never heard of, and telling the girls they should “have a night on the town” with him because he’s paying.”
So I walk up to my car and he makes this disgusted face at me and goes “Don’t touch the car, man, I just got it detailed yesterday!” to which I respond “Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t going to. It’s a really nice car. I just wanted to look at it.”
He turns around to the girls and says something that he (and only he) thinks is funny and is motioning my way when I put my hands in my pocket and hit the unlock button that also makes the car lights turn on (it was night time at this point). He jumped as if a gunshot went off, and the look on his face when I opened the door and started the car was priceless. (Biggie-smallest)
“This one girl was showing off her drawings. I was slowly making my way over since I draw as well, I wanted to see if she was any good. Some were awful, but then… rapidly became better. With different styles and techniques. Then one in the exact same style I draw in … oh wait, it was my drawing. The next pages in her “portfolio” were printed-off drawings that I had done online.
I didn’t say hello or any form of greeting. Just yelled, “Why the hell are you using my artwork in your portfolio?”
She immediately got all indignant and said I was just jealous of her skills (wtf I’m not even that great, weirdo).
I then took out my sketchbook and showed the early sketches for some of the drawings.
I didn’t think people actually ran from confrontations before.” (TinyBahamut)
“I went to a Chicago Bears game back in the early 90s with my childhood best friend and his grandfather who had had season tickets to the Bears for a long long time, back to like 1972. We get to the seats, which are in an awesome location, to see four guys sitting in Grandpa’s seats. My friend’s Grandpa tells them, “Guys, you are in our seats, can you please move?” One of the dudes is a huge jerk and says the seats are his group’s. Grandpa says they are wrong and they need to move. To which one guy replies, “Oh yeah, well I don’t see your name on them so f— off!” Grandpa points to the seatback on the seat nearest to him, which in fact has an engraved nameplate with Grandpa’s name on it. Since he had the same seats for so long, he was able to get them engraved. It was amazing watching these four idiots stammer and walk away.” (jhp58)
“When I was in college I had just gotten two new front tires for my car. A week later my back tire was punctured by a nail. So I went to the local tire shop to have it replaced.
Later that day they gave me a call:
Tire Shop: “The estimate to fix the puncture is X. Would you like us to repair it?”
Me: “Yes, please.” It was a reasonable price.
Tire Shop:”Also, I noticed that the treads on your front tires look dangerously low.”
Me: “My two front tires?”
Tire Shop: “Yes. They are at two-thirty-seconds of an inch low. This is legally worn down and they should be replaced. I can do it today for X dollars.”
Me: “So you are telling me that my two front tires are dangerously worn down?”
Tire Shop: “Yes.”
Me: “My brand new tires that I bought last week?”
Tire Shop: “Oh…”
Me: “Forget fixing the puncture. I’ll be by in a minute to pick up my car.”‘ (sacheltry )
“An ex-girlfriend of mine called to tell me she was pregnant and that she needed money to terminate the pregnancy. I did the math quickly in my head and realized that there was no way she could be pregnant with me because we had stopped “having relations” long before we split. So, I told her that as “the father” I had rights, too and that I wanted her to have the child and I would take full custody (and pay her medical bills). She was speechless and then said, “I’ll call you back”. She called a day or so later, saying she had a miscarriage.” (friekman)
“We used to know this girl who compulsively lied about the littlest things, so we always wondered if she was lying about other things. Mainly we wondered if she was lying about having epilepsy. Well, she faked a fit in front of a group of us once, at a party. She started pretending to shake, fell to the floor and so on. She then stopped, confirmed that people were looking and paying attention, and then continued. We told her to stop and that she was obviously faking. She left.” (pro-Dolor)
“Not really a lie, but I was that kid who set all the curves in math class in high school. I’m Chinese, and there were other Chinese kids who sat behind me in class. I don’t know why they didn’t think I spoke Mandarin, but I did. They would talk shit on me all the time in Mandarin, like, “This stupid kid thinks he’s so fucking smart” blah blah blah. I never reacted. Literally the last week of class, I turned around and start talking to them in fluent Mandarin. Priceless look on their faces.” (evanshall)
“One time, my family’s company was throwing a company Christmas party at an upscale restaurant in NYC. We were in a private room upstairs but it wasn’t like there was security or anything like that, so anyone could and eventually did come upstairs to mooch. Anyway, I’m there with several members of my family having a good time, enjoying some food and drinks, and getting to know people in the company. I’m sitting at a table with several employees I had just met, and two of my cousins who worked with them, when two guys come up to our table and introduce themselves. They were professionally dressed, were quite friendly. They start asking people what they do, flirting with several of the girls at the table, and trying to act pretty alpha (they asked me what I did, which was graphic design at the time, and kinda laughed at my career choice). So I ask what they do at the company, and they say that their family owns the business. I take a long look at the two of them, take a sip off my drink, and say. “Oh really? I must have missed you at the last family reunion. By the way, I’m Theodore (Company’s Name), nice to meet you.” The look on their faces was priceless. They put down their drinks and just walked out.” (atworkandwanttoreply)
“Last year, I had the opportunity to join a masterclass in Photoshop taught by one of those Adobe guys. He came up with this great idea to watermark your photographs/digital work with 1% of grain, absolutely invisible to the naked eye. One of his pictures gets stolen, and he sues the guy. In court, the guy puts the original file he had, and the file from the guy on top of each other in photoshop, and filters out the difference. And there you go, a beautiful watermark. He said that he never saw someone getting that red so fast.” (Lexdb)