When a couple decides to get married, they stand–usually before an altar–and recite vows to each other. Although the modern day has introduced some alternate or more personalized wedding vows, some of the traditional ones are that you promise to stay together no matter what.
Although marriage is a beautiful thing, couples always face difficulties, as well as milestones and roadblocks that they will have to deal with together. Not every couple can make it through these difficult times, but with the right attitude and good friends and family–some of us have figured it out.
Tammie Haveman is a mother, wife, blogger, as well as a devoted followed of Jesus. Today, she appears to have the picture perfect marriage with her husband, Dave Havemen, but it wasn’t always that simple. In fact, there was a time when this happy couple faced the possibility of divorce.
Rather than hiding away, Tammie opened up about her relationship–going into detail about the ups and downs she experienced with her husband and how they managed to persevere through prayer and communication. Keep on reading to find out how they did it!
Not every marriage can be saved from devastation, but Tammie wanted to share her story to let other couples know that things like poor communication and unmet expectations can be addressed and fixed.
Growing up, Dave and Tammie were the ‘quintessential Christian couple’ who would read books, pray together, and were expected to ‘nail this marriage thing.’
This is their engagement photo from way back when. Before the trials and tribulations of growing up and really getting to know a person.
Although they had a fairytale wedding, the rest of their life together was not so peachy. They found themselves in a marriage filled with conflicts, misunderstandings, baggage, and selfishness.
After just two years of marriage, the couple was at the end of their rope. They were growing apart and facing a possible divorce.
Rather than give them the answers they wanted to hear, their faithful friends and families decided to help them through this hard time.
Before the couple made the decision, they opened up to their friends and relatives about the situation and the consideration of a divorce.
The unexpected message that came back from most friends and families was ‘not on our watch.’ Tammie wrote. ‘Looking back, Dace and I marvel that no one… NO ONE… told us what we wanted to hear or let us off the hoof of the commitment we made.’
Rather than tell them to give up, their friends and families prayed for, loved and listened to them. They also held them accountable to their marriage vows.
During the days of their early marriage, they learned to tell the truth and about proper communication and commitment.
Another thing they learned was to ‘keep walking through the fire’ as opposed to giving up when life gives you lemons. ‘We are closer, stronger, more committed and far more in love now than we were twenty years ago as naive kids looking for a fairy tale,’ Tammie wrote in her blog.
If you too are having issues with your marriage or relationship, Tammie suggests surrounding yourself with friends and family that will tell you the truth about the situation. After all, thanks to the help of her friends and family, she was able to save the ‘the most treasured relationship’ in her life.