Are you tired of seeing inane life hacks with their unrealistic promises of making your life better?
Well, the best new trend in life hacks is hacks that promise to make your life way, way worse! Online communities like “r/sh*ttylifeprotips” on Reddit are dedicated to life-hacks that aren’t helpful, safe, or even doable.
Read on to discover some of the best…and, if it’s not already obvious, don’t try these at home!
“Trying to scoop ice cream, but it’s too hard? Microwave your spoon for 30 seconds.” (no-u-tofu)
“Immediately lunge desperately at your food when brought by a waiter to avoid insult” (ZestyWoodchips)
“Lie the toaster down flat, put some cheese on top of the bread, BOOM! TOAST N CHEESE!” (deleted)
“Did the doctor tell you your arteries are clogging up? Just drink a cup or two of melted butter, it will lubricate them and make them as good as new!” (JustinML99)
“Spit out your food before speaking and eat it again after you’re done speaking to avoid talking with your mouth full.” (____okay)
“Adding a couple king-size Snickers bars to the blender really makes diet shakes satisfying.” (rip1980)
“To save time, try calling foods “disappointing” instead of “gluten-free.”‘ (deepsoulfunk)
“If you’re calorie counting; order a healthy meal and then eat the food on your partner’s plate. You didn’t order it, you can’t get the calories.” (AshlynBootrobba)
“Avoid the temptation to snack on leftovers by eating everything at once.” (comma_chameleon)
“The popcorn on the floor of the movie theater is basically free food. I like to call it “dropcorn.”‘ (RonPalancik)
“Next time you can’t remember the name of a book, song or movie, publish/compose/direct your own version based on whatever you can remember and release it as your own. Then you patiently wait to see who sues you.” (tommythehandsome)
“Write a story about an aging professor who is contemplating infidelity with his young student. The world always needs more of those!” (guyinyourmfa)
“This Thanksgiving if you’re having trouble getting a dialogue going at dinner, bring up politics, religion and gun control. These are all topics that people have opinions on and can speak rationally about.” (colinmccavitt)
“If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.” (Mustaline)
“Do you suffer from low blood pressure? Read the news every day to raise your blood pressure to normal levels.” (SittingInFear)