Schadenfreude is a German word which means ‘taking pleasure (or laughing) at someone else’s misfortune.’ While it is terrible to make fun of someone else’s mistakes or faults the internet is filled with funny mishaps such as falling off a hoverboard or walking face first into what you thought was an automatic door. And Reddit is a steady source of these hilarious anecdotes.
A girl known only as The Flying Pig Squadron on Reddit posted a story of her own mishap which generated a ton of comments and laughs. She wrote: ‘so this morning I jumped in the shower and decided to wash my hair. I have very long and curly hair that reaches midway down my back. However, once it’s wet the curls straighten out and my hair almost reaches my bum.’ She continued: ‘So hair is wet, shampooing done and I just need to rinse. I tip my head back and flip my hair over my shoulder ala shampoo adverts everywhere. And feel something brush against the top of my bum. Being the mature and logical gal I am, I came to the one and only possible conclusion. Spider.’
As she begins flailing around in what she describes as a bathroom not even ‘for a toddler to do the splits’ she ends up in the emergency room with a sprained ankle, a fractured ankle, two broken toes, and ‘a beautiful rainbow of bruises.’
But it doesn’t end there: ‘so because I’m a special little unicorn my broken toes and fractured ankles are on opposite fee, therefore, I’m now rockin a new b****in wheelchair (well not new, it’s the NHS and its Scotland). Also, my flat is upstairs so it might as well be on Everest, so I’m at my parent’s bungalow until my sprain is well enough for me to find another way to f*** it up.’
As she begins to get accustomed to her brand new mode of transportation she reports on ‘[bouncing] off every door frame in the house’ and scuffing more than two walls, she is finally sent out of the room and instead to bother her younger brother. ‘So after letting him have a go on the chair and basically [messing] about, he says 3 little words that have resulted in this update. “Do a wheelie” F****ng challenge accepted.’
And in an eerie sense of completeness, this young lady ends up splitting her head on the fireplace and performed what she describes as ‘the world’s worst impression of an upside down turtle with a cost and now a head wound.’ Her 19 year old brother is reported to have been crawling away from the scene of the crime all the way laughing to the washroom before he ‘[pees] himself.’
Her final update was: ‘no I haven’t injured myself again. So after seeing the same [doctor] I saw during my first trip in, I thankfully don’t have a skull fracture or concussion. I’ve just split the skin which was fixed with glue and tape because apparently medical and art supplies are the same thing. I’m also back in the wheelchair as the very wise [doctor] felt “crutches would just be asking for it”. He’s not wrong I full admit I would have attempted to swing from them and/or use them as pirate swords. Though most likely both.’
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