Alright, so you’ll find yourself posing a lot of questions while reading this here article. Mostly what you’d expect: the who, the why, the how, the where and the what am I looking at? Sure, you can seek out answers, but cross every desert, swim every ocean, climb every mountain and you’ll still find nothing.
It’s probably best to shut your brain off, read this article and OBEY YOU SHEEP. Er, I mean laugh.
This is 25 ‘Hmmm’ Photos That Raise More Questions Than They Will Answer.
1. The New iPhone 8 is looking even more delicious than in the commercial! It has a brand new 4k megapixel camera, animoji capability and of course, it is waterproof. Just don’t put it in boiling water, unless of course, you’re a broke college student. Of course, they changed the charger and took out the headphone jack though.
2. And they said Crocs were tacky! As an avid Croc wearer, I applaud this man’s devotion to the cause. What cause could croc wearers (i.e. dads and lazy people) possibly have? Well, dear reader, there is a stigma against footwear in this country. It’s disgusting the way we treat others because of the way they choose to live life!
3. A claustrophobic’s dream shower. Ah, there’s nothing like being in a shower and feeling like you can’t escape! Especially when that shower is practically like a coffin, both in size and location. Just picture it now– the incredible serenity of feeling like you’re being buried alive! All the while water is engulfing and slowly drowning you! Sounds like a dream!
4. A never-ending chain of touristy pictures. I wonder what was the reaction to the first person to do the: “Leaning against some monument far away in the background” photo. Did they think it was as tacky and touristy as we do now? Or did they think it was genius? I want you to listen to your heart and let IT tell you.
5. Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own. That is one room that I would never break into. Listen, I’m desperate and broke but I don’t want to be pleading desperately, broken! Even though we THINK he’s dead, he could show up anywhere to beat you down. He is, in fact, Bruce Lee.
6. Ohhhh, banana. After King K Rool lost once again to the Kong family, he packed it in and went to Wal-Mart for his own dang bananas. There’s only so many times a 300-pound gorilla can jump on your head before you just give up. Hey, maybe THAT’S why we’ll never see him in Smash!
7. Mouth full of glaciers, body full of ice… Listen MOM, just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s not a cool style! All the kids are putting candy in their hair! Yeah-HUH Mom, Milo’s afro is just a bunch of Swedish berries and Tina’s mohawk is just some Twizzlers!
8. Gotta protect the battle station. I totally agree with this decision. Let your gross baby fall down the stairs or get into the Drain-o, at least you’ll be able to rip some Dark Souls to take your mind off the neglectful infanticide!
9. The dog-faced woman. Whatever happened to freak shows? I understand that now we live in a more progressive society and gawking at the less fortunate, disfigured people is considered to be low-brow, but… You know what, I don’t think I’m going to elaborate on this. Mostly because my previous sentence answered my first question.
10. I always do a joke about how vending machines kill people, so I’m going to avoid it this time! Honest! I swear! Go ahead, read the next line! As the lady of the night walked down the highway, desperately trying to find a ride, a car pulls up next to her. Cold and scared, she eagerly jumps in. “Hi, thanks for stopping” she says, pushing some hair from her face ‘I’m Brandene”. The driver turns to her, a steely, stoic look on his face. He extends a hand and says: “Ted Vendy”.
11. The backward man! Step right up ladies and gentlemen and for one shilling you can emotionally support the backward man! Gaze in awe and horror, then empathy as he attempts to do the daily things you cannot! Remember folks, this is a human being and we shouldn’t make him feel bad about himself! See? Just doesn’t have that same, old-timey ring to it.
12. Convenience at its finest. You know, this picture didn’t really make me hmm all that much, I thought it was very convenient. So I thought I’d ask some chefs what they thought, but then I realized I didn’t know any. So I thought: “what kind of person would you most likely find in a kitchen?”. The most obvious answer was, of course, that age-old stereotype from the 50s, the fact that men belong in the kitchen! So I asked my dad and he said it was: “pretty neat”.
13. I hereby decree this concrete bus stop open! What you’re seeing in these pictures is the end of the dedication, but the ceremony was actually much longer. Fireworks, champagne bottles being broken off the structure, keynote speakers– I hear they even got Bill Gates to personally address the crowd of nine people!
14. In Soviet Russia…He was an unBEARable passenger. Terrible, awful, overused puns aside, this is actually a common occurrence in the bear-infested parts of Eastern Europe. People walk alongside the bears, learn their language and date their women (and vice versa, obviously). I wanted to try going out with a bear, so I went to datehugebears.com, but I found something a little different…
15. Is he strong? Listen bud, he’s got radioactive blood. Really Sony? Are you rebooting Spiderman AGAIN? I mean I agree, the last Spiderman movie was a bowl of hot trash (save some Michael Keaton parts, the man is a treasure) but could you at least put Tom Holland against Venom or something?
16. Care to try the chair, monsieur? No thanks, I had sectional for lunch. Listen, when I’m hopped up on Cola at 4 AM, if it looks like cheesecake, I’m taking a bite out of it. If it turns out to be chair, I’ll probably take a couple more bites just to MAKE SURE none of it is cake. (Word to the wise: it never ends up being cheesecake).
17. Well, that’s not happening. Unless he sticks it through the passenger’s window or something, but then again he’d take up two lanes with his bulk. Not to mention if he drove it in the right lane (that’s the left lane for lame countries). He’d be taking out people on the sidewalk, poles, but if he’s in Liberty City or San Andreas, never trees.
18. I know what you’re thinking dog, but don’t you dare… You’re supposed to take out their legs with your tow cables, pup! Then it’s off to the DOGobah system where you’ll meet the grand Jedi master YoDOG. God, where do I think this stuff up? Seriously, where is the Pulitzer committee?
19. His girlfriend has no idea he’s out “cheet-ing” right now. This boy was actually raised by cheetahs. They usually have to run a couple hundred yards and then wait for him to catch up, but he can definitely run longer distances than they can!
20. The guardians of the underworld. Down there, your heart will be weighed on a scale. If you’ve done enough good deeds, Anubis will give you back your heart and leave you on your merry way. If not, a crocodile-headed beast will eat it and you’ll be heartless. Which, you know, is pretty inconvenient, especially if you plan on seeing your dogs in the afterlife.
21. An endless paradox. Touching his spare wheel brings you to a magical world where lions talk and there are endless spares of everything. Toothbrush running out of bristles? There’s a spare! All your underwear has holes in it? You’ve got a spare! Girlfriend left you? Don’t worry, there’s always a spare!
22. That is the creepiest thing I’ve seen so far. Check the mirror. (cue Nightmare on Elm Street little girls singing) We’re so in tune you and I Alfredo, it’s almost like you’re my reflection… We’ll always be together Alfredo, even in death. And remember, I’m always watching…
23. Nothing to see here, just a regular old house. As fun as that may seem, it may be harder to take a serious situations seriously. “Listen David” *BOING* “I wanted to talk” *BOING* “About your” *BOING* “Gambling addiction. It’s tearing this family apart and if you don’t stop I’m taking the kids and leaving…” *BOING!*
24. The pet has become the master. Yes, El Parakeeto was a cruel dictator. His hatred for cats was unparalleled and in his eyes, justified. He watched as a cat took his parents when he was but an egg in a nest. Almost 6.5 million cats were jailed and/or executed during El Parakeeto’s reign…
25. People let me tell ya’ bout my best friend! Listen, the guy obviously just wants some friends! I do the same thing! Sometimes I’ll photo bomb other people’s selfies then pay them to use it on my Facebook… Oh god I’m so alone.
Click NEXT POST to read more stories like this and don’t forget to SHARE with your Facebook friends.