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Social Anarchists Share Stories About The Little Ways They Mess With Us

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We should all strive to do our best to make society a better place, but not everyone feels like a ray of sunshine on a daily basis. Sure, we all feel warm and fuzzy inside when we do something good for someone else. However, sometimes doing something slightly mischievous can bring a sensation that’s equally as rewarding.

There’s a little scoundrel in all of us that can sometimes come out to play in very subtle ways. There doesn’t even have to be a motive for these tiny ill-intended acts of misfortune, sometimes it’s just for our own twisted personal enjoyment.

One Redditor asked the community what small thing they’ve done to make society a little bit worse, and the responses are gloriously insidious.

1. Defying Orders: “I apologize in advance if this grosses anyone out, but in fast food, you never know what kind of scumbag will be making your sandwich. Back when I was working at Wendy’s, we had chicken sandwiches that would come with a special honey mustard sauce on them. We had the sauce in a tiny squeeze bottle because it didn’t get used that often. The manager who trained me in sandwich construction was adamant that to pour the proper amount of honey mustard, you had to make a ‘W’ for Wendy’s that covers the entirety of the top bun. Whenever the manager wasn’t looking, I’d always make it an ‘M’ because my name is Matt.” (Reddit user: calcuttacodeinecoma)

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2. Extra Number: “At the last office I worked at there was one of those mechanical lock things that have number pads to enter a code. I would always press a random number after going through it just so the next person would get the code wrong and they’d have to enter it again. Sometimes I’d stick around for a bit just to watch it happen. It always cheered me up.” (Reddit user: snowmonkey_ltc)

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3. Lower Case: “If I need to put someone in their place at work, I will purposely sign off emails without capitalizing my name to show that that person isn’t worth my finger hitting shift. I’m smart enough to know that it probably goes unnoticed, but my manager actually brought it up in a meeting saying that it made people feel like they weren’t worth my time. Keep fighting your tiny battles folks.” (Reddit user: LikeWeDid)

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4. Parking: “I make an effort when leaving a busy store with a crowded parking lot, to take out my keys and swing them around as I head to a car that’s parked in prime real estate. As soon as the parking vultures start circling around me and queue up for the spot, I breeze right on by and bask in the looks of frustration darting my way as I head to my actual parking spot.” (Reddit user: kodeman66)

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5. Ketchup Caught Up: “When I was younger, I would go in the bathroom of fast food restaurants and put ketchup packets under the nubs between the bowl and toilet seat. I did this for years and for absolutely no reason. However, karma got me after I placed one and ended up at the same spot the next morning and fell victim to my own crime. I was wearing white. I deserved it.” (Reddit user: SantaFeWaterCo)

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6. Red Light: “My local traffic lights are set up so that it will turn red if someone approaching is doing 60km/hr or above. Whenever I have someone tailgating me, I make sure that I drive at 58 and then punch it just a few meters before the light so they have to stop.” (Reddit user: Krushka)

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7. Elevator Buttons: “Working in a 13 story building, every now and then I’d be inclined to press every button on my way out on the ground floor. I would only do this when I was alone and no one was entering when I got off. However, the last time I did this, some guy rounded the corner and bolted towards the closing elevator doors and made it just in time. All I heard from behind the doors was, ‘Oh come on! Jesus Christ!’ He knew.” (Reddit user: HodorHodorHodorHodor)

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8. Catfish: “When I was living in Japan, I would entertain myself by catfishing a guy and a girl on different dating apps at the same time. I would organize a date meeting place and then just sit down somewhere close by with a good view and watch it all unfold.” (Reddit user: cadaver46)

8Mila Supinskaya Glashchenko / Shutterstock.com

9. Unkempt: “I don’t make any effort whatsoever to water or cut my lawn as often as the retired guys in my neighborhood do. Therefore, I am purposefully defacing the otherwise pristine green beauty of my block while devaluing everyone’s homes just a little bit. I also do not trim my purple smoke tree, which apparently drives others crazy.” (Reddit user: dasoberirishman)

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10. Queue: “Whenever my family and I go to an amusement park, particularly Disney, we all find a random place to stand and form a line. A party of ten of us, just standing in a line to absolutely nothing. Eventually, people will walk up and ask someone near the back what they are waiting for. We usually will just say we don’t know but people will still start to line up. After a good little while, our group would just disperse and confuse the tourists.” (Reddit user: DeejLueej)

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11. Intentional Bump: “I purposefully walk into people who are standing in the way or walking extremely slow, but especially when they just aren’t paying attention because they are on their phone. I do this even when I’m not in a rush but seriously, do you people not have anywhere you’re going?” (Reddit user: patitot)

12. Retail Rage: “I work in retail and there’s nothing that annoys me more than someone picking up an article of clothing, decide that they don’t actually want it, and then just dump it randomly throughout the store. I now do this at every retail store I go to that I don’t work at just to make things even.” (Reddit user: rubyt123)

13. Participation: “I don’t participate whatsoever in my local community. I have zero connection to it and could not care less who my city council is. I don’t even know who the mayor of my city is and I’d rather do anything else than waste my time finding out. I sometimes wish there was a second plague so I don’t have to sit in traffic.” (Reddit user: daspanda1)

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14. Extra Hot Sauce: “I almost always remove the little plastic cap on restaurant Tabasco bottles that limit the outpour. I just don’t have the time or patience to wait for one drop at a time. I also almost always forget to replace it. There is probably a few poor patrons who got a lot more hot sauce than they wanted after sitting where I was.” (Reddit user: terrovek3)

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15. Just A Strand: “I’m a woman with long blonde hair and a penchant for causing chaos. Every now and then, when I’m taking public transportation and I see a man wearing an extra thick wedding ring, I’ll gently place a loose strand of my hair on the back of his suit.” (Reddit user: whinecube)

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16. Proud Pooper: “Every once in a great while, when I’m in a quiet and empty public bathroom, I’ll take pride in my really huge dump. You know, the kind of dump that makes you look back into the bowl and wonder how that brown anaconda came out of your body. After this happens, I don’t flush the toilet, but instead, clean myself up at the next stall. The next person who comes in will now not only appreciate my accomplishment but have no idea how I did it without any accompanying toilet paper.” (Reddit user: porsche911king)

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17. Microwave Menace: “Whenever I have to microwave something at work, I make sure that I stop it just a couple of seconds before it’s done and I don’t reset the clock. The only reason I do this is because I know that it drives a few people in the office absolutely nuts.” (Reddit user: Vew)

18. Purposefully Shady: “If I have to wait for someone to arrive somewhere, one of my favorite things to do to pass the time is to go into a nearby store and look suspicious. I’ll walk around the store and look at the cameras dubiously. In my head, there’s someone watching me closely wondering what in the world I’m doing, but in reality, no one probably cares.” (Reddit user: Jambrors)

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19. Small Car Spite: “I drive a Mini Cooper. Whenever I’m parking my car in a lot, I try to be as close to the center line and between the two biggest vehicles I can find. I do this solely in hopes that someone will think they’ve found a parking spot only to be greeted by the smug look of a tiny British car.” (Reddit user: LaPiscinaDeLaMuerte)

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20. Free WiFi: “My apartment complex is next to a community pool so I decided to name my WiFi ‘Free Poolside WiFi.’ Sometimes I will just hang out on my patio during the weekend and just watch people angrily try to figure out why they can’t connect to the WiFi only to be told that the pool doesn’t have any.” (Reddit user: Decibles174)

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21. Perfect Condition: “I used to work at a toy store and there were always annoying collectors who would come in and pester us for pristine boxes. They would always make us go back and forth because the boxes were never ‘flawless’ enough. I would provide excellent service and made sure the packaging met their requirements. However, when I would bag their product, I would dig my thumbnail into the box and gauge the surface.” (Reddit user: TrickyV)

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22. Vanity, Interrupted: “Whenever I see a woman checking herself out obsessively in an elevator mirror, I make an effort to stand in the way of her reflection. It’s actually hilarious watching people like this continuously attempt to catch a glimpse of themselves while unaware you are purposefully making it as difficult as possible. (Reddit user: patitot)

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23. Exit Strategy: “I’m one of those people who start at the front of a crowd at a concert and leaves mid-way. Whenever I’m trying to escape, I’ll make gagging noises and make it seem like I’m going to puke. People get right out of the way waltz through. I’m not even sorry.” (Reddit user: GunsGermsAndSteel)

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24. Balloon: “Whenever I’m truly feeling enraged, I’ll write profanity on a helium balloon and release it into the air. I like to imagine some little kid finding the balloon and being all excited only to see ‘Go [Expletive] Yourself’ written in bold permanent marker on the side.” (Reddit user: quimbykimbleton)

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