Vince DiCallister, your billionaire boss, and owner of the DiCallister National Conglomerate, smiles his usual, self-satisfied grin at you. Next to you is Art Van De Showere, Director extraordinaire and faux french person. The both of them seem very pleased with themselves and are staring at you, beaming with unearned pride.
“We’re hiring YOU to write our movie because you spend so much time with those Providr guys,” says Vince “And as we all know, the writers at Providr are the best in the world”. “That’s true” Art Van De Showere chimes in “they are the absolute best”. “Yes,” you say, thirding what your boss and director said: “they are better than any other website. Especially those HACKS at (competitors names have been removed on the basis that I want to keep my job, but you know who you are).”
“Anyways” Vince DiCallister cuts off your long list of terrible Providr competitors “We want you to have complete creative control, but we DO have some guidelines. Listed in….” Vince waits for the title to drop.
25 Action Movie Clichés That Need To Go Straight Into The Trash. Boom! There it is!
1. There is usually a scene where a bomb needs to be defused and it usually ends at the last second. Vince puts his hands out like he’s having some great revelation. “It starts and our hero has to defuse a bomb that will destroy their city. The moment is tense and action-packed because get this– they’re defusing it while on a citywide slip n slide. Then, at the last moment, before you think the whole place is going to go kablooey, they stop the bomb from going off!”
2. The heroes always jump through glass unphased. “GENIUS!” cries Art in response “Pure, unadulterated genius!” he then turns to you and does the same revelation gesture: “And then, suddenly, the slip and slide ends and CRASH! Our protagonist goes through 15 panes of glass, coming out with only a scar in a place where it would look cool”.