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25 Things To Avoid When You Break Up With Someone

So you’ve decided to dump them, huh? Wow, that’s a tough decision to make, but if it’s gotten that bad I can’t blame you. That sucks, it really does. Go ahead, let it all out. That’s it. Yeah, good Reader.

Alright, that’s enough. Seriously, cut it out, it’s getting pathetic. I MEAN, no, not pathetic, um, HEY, why don’t we try getting through this together? I can teach you how to do it RIGHT! Don’t worry, if there are two things Jake Bean is good at, it’s losing people who once loved me and writing… Okay fine, just losing people who once loved me then. Now you’re going to make ME cry! We should probably get some help with this, considering how fragile we BOTH now are, so we’ll consult some experts throughout.

This is 25 Things To Avoid When You Break Up With Someone.

1. Never forget about the practical stuff. So you’re probably going through some complex emotions at the moment, but for now, we need to get serious. Does your significant other know any of your passwords? Do they have a key to your house? Do they have those precious Avril Lavigne CDs you stole from your sister in 2001? Make a plan to recover those things and go through with it, says expert Toni Coleman. How else are you supposed to listen to complicated once you’re single?

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2. Don’t try to punish your ex-partner. This is the time for REVENGE! Beat them down, make them feel small, crush their puny existence! Right, expert Toni Coleman? What’s that? Putting them down will just hurt you more and make you feel terrible? Oh. Maybe this breakup is a dish best served warm, then.

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