(Once again, our and your favorite writer Jake Bean is out due to incredibly low self-esteem brought on by years of relentless teasing from the neighborhood children. Instead, please enjoy the ramblings of our favorite patriot, Tank Brownford).
I knew after I did an American-centric article they were going to force me to go the other way. Now the dang people at Providr are making me eat foreign food! At least let me eat like an American: boisterously while spitting food at my guests, screaming at the TV and slamming the table with my clenched fist. Darn foreigners, don’t know how to have a good time. And darn the cowboys, don’t know how to throw a darn football! God dangit Dak Prescott, get off the dang field!
Sigh. Let’s get this over with. Here is 25 Foreign Food Etiquette Rules For Your Next International Vacation.
1. Learn to use chopsticks. The first thing you should understand about certain Asian countries, at least according to our friends at Etiquette Scholar, is that some of them eat with chopsticks. Especially in China and Japan. Now I ain’t never been to Asia, I protested the war in Vietnam, but I do know that chopsticks are hard to use. I tried em once when I got me and my family some Chinese food one Christmas dinner and dang it, I can change the motor on my John Deere but those darn wooden sticks always get me!
2. Don’t lay your chopsticks across your rice bowl in China. Apparently in China, according to good old Etiquette Scholar, it’s considered rude to lay your chopsticks across your bowl. I guess you just throw em across the room or something! What’s that son? You just put em on your plate on the chopstick rest?