Zultar, the god of fire and inconvenience, sat atop his mighty throne.
It was a computer chair whose back stood straight up and would randomly sink every now and again, especially when Zultar was really focused on something. The chair was something that the gods of Olympus had cursed Zultar with many eons ago. For being generally irritating, Zultar was doomed to sit in this chair for all eternity. The accursed chair! The chair that— ZOOP!
THAT BLOODY CHAIR! Just as Zultar was monologuing in his head about how much he hated the chair, it lowered on him again! And now it won’t go back up! His big, impressive, godly knees in his chest, he grumbled and decided to mess with some humans today. They deserve it, those arrogant little mortals. THEIR chairs never malfunction and if they do, they’re not forced from leaving them! And so, Zultar prepares his powers of fire and annoyance, ready to pester some people today.
This is his tale of 25 People Who Played With Fire And Got Burnnnned.
1. Indiana, I told you not to run through my house anymore! Seriously, the repairs are costing me a fortune and I don’t see you sharing any of that Ark of the Covenant money! As Zultar looked down upon this vile creature mocking him with his decadence, he decided to destroy this person’s house with a giant boulder. Wow, Zultar that IS annoying, to say the least!
2. Well, are you happy we saved the $25 dollars by going with the printer with allergies NOW, Dave? As Zultar gazed upon the humans from his squeaky chair, he looks down in disgust at their attempts to get through a workday. BOOM! An explosion of ink covered Melinda from accounting in black goo for the rest of the day. Wow, that’s annoying Zultar!