“I’m sorry, but we’re over.”
You can’t believe what you’re hearing. Your boo, your love, the apple of your eye, your significant other, is finally leaving you. What could it have been? You wonder, before asking them: “What could it have been?”
“We have nothing in common,” they say, arms crossed. “The only thing you care about is Deep Blue-something!”
“That’s not true,” you blurt out. “What about Breakfast at Tiffany’s?”
“Actually, I recall that fi– OH GOSH DARNIT,” screams significant other, furious. “Listen YOU, unless you shape up right now, this is over. However, there is no way you could possibly rehaul your entire life over the course of an article. There is no website on the entire Internet willing to help reshape the life of some loser. No one who can provide you with, say, 25 life changes, or maybe not changes, but something closer – I don’t know, maybe something technical and modern? Life strategies? Life techniques? Life–” Okay, you know where I’m going with this.
This is 25 Easy Hacks For Everyday Problems.
1. Put a marshmallow in the bottom of the cone to prevent drippy, melty, ice cream mess. Ah yes, as the sweet summer months approach, one thing is for certain: those of us immature enough to chase after the ice cream truck will be subject to the mess that accompanies this summertime frozen treat. Hopefully one of the truck drivers will read this article.
2. Makeshift sombrero? Cardboard and duct tape. Hey, if the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy. Ah, good ol’ Red Green. I wonder what he’s up to these days… still doing his Red Green character and hey, apparently he won an Order of Canada. I’m assuming that’s our equivalent to knighting or something because there seem to be a lot of celebrities with the Order of Canada.