Whether we want to admit it or not, we’ve all given in to the temptation to be petty. We may think that we’re above it, but who here hasn’t delighted over an enemy’s misfortune, subtweeted a follower, or left a passive-aggressive post-it note for a roommate? Pettiness is a universal human experience, dating back to the first caveman who shared a fire with everyone except for his ex.
Recently, on Reddit, users were asked about their pettiest reason for breaking up with someone. Their responses were funny, cringeworthy, honest and, above all, petty. But they aren’t entirely unrelatable. Whether the people of these stories lose their cool over someone’s laundry habits or sulk over their partner getting a higher video game score than their own, their pettiness calls to a deep pettiness within ourselves.
And maybe that’s okay. After all, didn’t Alexander Pope say, “to be petty is human, to be chill about it, divine”?
1. Well, It Definitely Wasn’t A Wedding Dress: “I dated a girl for a little over four years. We had our fair share of arguments and disagreements during that time, but the one that broke us up was one over the color of that white gold/blue black dress. Yeah, not my finest hour.”
2. C U L8r: “He was a great guy, but I’m a bit of a grammar freak and he used improper grammar in all of his text messages. Like, really bad. Like, “WAT r u doin 2nite?” kind of bad. I literally couldn’t deal with it anymore.”