“And lo, the camel doth rideth me now, for I am but a slave who was wence a mastahhhh”. Oh boy this play is going to suck.
You look over at your co-producer, artiste and director EXTRA-OR-DIN-AIRE Art Van Der Showere. He sits, smile spread sickeningly across his dumb mustachioed face, hands clasped together in front of his mouth. The twinkle in his eye suggests that he is on the verge of tears. Your hammy, over the top actor finishes his hammy, over the top monologue. Art lets out a flurry of tiny claps and leaps up, weeping pathetically. “Magnifigue! Magnifigue!” he keeps repeating, totally unaware that he’s butchering the French language. “What’s with this guy?” you think as he turns to you. “And so? What do you think?” he asks through sobs. “Umm…” you start “It’s a little weird”. Art Van Der Showere scoffs at you in response: “Mais mon ami! This is how Ewwww-manite is! Here…” Art pulls out his phone and shoves it in your face.
“Check out these 25 People Doing The Weird Things People Do”
1. But you’d look sweet upon the seat of a fence built for two! “Ahhh but look at this fellow!” Art starts, showing you entry number one “he is riding a fence! That is not normal, no? You could even go as far as to call it bizzarrrrre.” He rolls his Rs annoyingly.
2. He must be a cold lil guy! “I think you’re missing my point” you say, but Art already has entry number 2 in your face. “See? This person is wearing his pantalons very incorrectly! They’re all the way up to his shoulders in fact! Have you ever seen something so ridicule?” Oh non-denominational deity, his French splicing is getting annoying and it’s only entry number 2!