Ah, health class. The time of year where kids learn about the miracle of their bodies, whether they want to or not.
Well, some kids learn. Others get unhelpful information, complete misinformation, or no information at all. From celestial contraception to messy milkshakes, teachers sell kids more bull in health class than anywhere else in the curriculum. We asked twenty-five people to share their health-class horror stories with us, and, boy, did they deliver.
Also, like a nervous preteen trying to answer their teacher’s questions without expiring of embarrassment, I can’t use the correct words for all of the parts and acts (thanks, Google Ads). So, if you’d like to read the most ridiculous things kids have learned about ‘adult naptime’ or ‘blowing the whistle’, read on!
The Blind Leading The Blind: “We were learning about sperm and a girl in my middle school class asked the teacher if you could get pregnant from swallowing it. The teacher took a long pause and said, “I’ll have to look that up and get back to you.” Said teacher also got pregnant twice and was overheard saying “so I realized you have to take the pill at the same time every day.” Thanks, abstinence-only education!” (makemapseveryday)
How Does Biology Work, Again?: “My teacher told us that even if both parties were virgins, they could create a new STD. Her claim was that your bodily bacteria would merge and create some new breed of bacteria. Luckily, no one I knew bought this.” (hiroto98)