Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but some mistakes are bigger than others. A recent Reddit thread asked readers for the dumbest thing they’d ever heard anyone say and, boy, were there some doozies! We collected the 18 most egregious examples of times that people were very wrong.
1. “In a high school history class discussing 2001 riots, the teacher mentions they used horses to break up the crowds. A girl in the back then says, “Ohh, duh, because they didn’t have cars then.” She was alive in 2001… for quite a few years.” (Ocula)
2. “What if a woman has twins in her womb of different genders, and they have sex, and the baby girl gets pregnant? What if this creates a Russian doll type scenario?”
Answer: Because of puberty.
Another gem by the same guy: “Why can’t we just cut off chunks of meat from animals, let the meat grow back, then cut the chunks off again.” According to him, this would be “infinite food.”
Answer: This kills the animal.” (NebulaNinja)
3. ‘”Why is Alaska cold and Hawaii hot if they’re both next to each other?” – girl I was in the military with.
Some US maps have Alaska in its own frame next to Hawaii to save space, so she believed Alaska was its own frozen island literally next to Hawaii.
If I remember correctly, she also believed lions were the males and tigers the females of one species.” (gnrowland)
4. “Me (reading): “An adult giraffe generally does not vocalize and is thus one of the quietest large mammals.”
Roommate (a biology major): Wait, giraffes aren’t mammals.
Me: … Of course they are. What do you think they are?
Roommate: I thought it was like a horse?
Me: Horses … dude, seriously? Horses are mammals. Name some mammals.
Roommate: Dolphins? Humans. Whales. Platypuses. Bats.
Me: So you only know the trick mammals, I guess.” (RudeMorgue)
5. “While trying to help someone with their geography, I pointed at a map and asked her to identify the place I was pointing at. She said “Texas”… I was pointing at India. She later said that Africa was South America. She was 26 at the time.” (CellarDoor_86)
6. “I was standing down on the docks in Florida watching the sunset when some man came up to a cruise captain and asked, “How many sunset cruises do you do a day?” The Captain just stared at him.” (Chillaxbro)
7. “Our high school chemistry teacher to a student: If there are 100 centimeters in a meter, how many centimeters are in a meter? The girl responded: I don’t know. I haven’t learned the metric system.” (_NW_)
8. “Sociology class talking about current events, specifically Iran and North Korea’s developing nuclear programs. One girl asked the prof very gravely:
“Do you think that we have nuclear weapons?”
This was in the USA. Prof was completely speechless.” (Kraelman)
9. “My sister thinks Canada is a US state, doesn’t know the difference between countries and states, and once told me the capital of the United States is California. She’s 21 years old.” (AHornySausage)
10. “In history class, talking about the American Civil war.
Student: “Why did it take so long to get places? Why didn’t they just drive?”
Teacher: “…Cars didn’t exist yet.”
Student: “Oh… then why didn’t they take a bus?”‘ (mrdominoe)
11. “I work in technical support for the security company. The following are a pool of my favorites:
“Approximately how long is sixty seconds?”
“Can’t you just email me a new battery?”
“My smoke detector just started screaming, and now my house is filling with smoke, what is wrong with this thing?”
“Can you just tell me the code before the cops get here, please?”
and my all time favorite (and no I am not making this up):
“Last night I was abducted and taken up to the mothership again. I checked my cameras, and they show me in bed all night, what the hell is up with these cameras?”‘ (rottinguy)
12. “I once dyed the ends of my hair red and had a teacher tell me that I hadn’t thought it through because when my hair grows, I’d have a band of red in the middle.” (liasugu)
13. “The kid at my summer camp who randomly threw up in my class. Asked why his stomach was upset. “Well I was hungry, and I saw something on the floor. I thought it was a rock, so I tried to eat it.” Stupid kid ate something off the floor without knowing what it was.” (BrokenDreamsDankmeme)
14. “There was a carpenter renovating the office next to ours. My boss went next door and yelled at him. “You should do this after hours! Do you like listening to hammering and sawing all day while you’re at work?!”
The carpenter said, “…Actually, yes, I do.”‘ (captainmagictrousers)
15. “Conversation I had in the break room at work: Coworker: “My doctor says I need to eat more iron. Isn’t that, like, a metal? Why would I eat metal? I don’t think he knows what he’s talking about.” Middle-aged woman. Has two kids.” (deleted)
16. “Employee is rounding just about every cent up. I ask her to show me her math work. Her result is $47.3518, which she rounded to $47.36. I ask her why she’s rounding up. She answers, “Because 18 is greater than 5.”‘ (AALen)
17. “I install shallow utilities (gas lines, etc). A not-too-bright worker that had been with our crew for about two months asked, “How come the pipes don’t melt when you run fire through them?” Cue 2 seconds of awkward silence, then laughter all around.” (dogfck)
18. “But aren’t sea cucumbers vegetables?”
I said that. Me.
I also said “I’m not sure which king was in power when the King James Version of the Bible was translated.”
I’ve spent a lot of sleepless nights staring at my ceiling in horror.” (deleted)