Being in love can be a tremendous feeling, knowing that you have a partner to rely on and trust in can be reassuring and satisfying. But falling out of love can be just as perilous and daunting.
But aside from no longer feeling those butterflies in your stomach or not aching to see that ‘special someone’, here are eight signs that your significant other may no longer love you.
According to a Global News article, approximately one in every five people in their late 50’s have been divorced or separated and that four out of every ten marriages in Canada end in a divorce.
1. Noticing Quirks. According to a study done by the APA (American Psychological Association), they found that partners who have little quirks and quips can be more attractive to a person than physical attributes. But this works vice versa as well, if you are starting to find these quirks which you once liked to be annoying and frustrating, it might be indicative that you no longer love your partner.
2. Decreasing communication. According to an article done by This Is Insider, they revealed that a decrease in communication can be a huge sign in showing that you no longer love your partner. If you are choosing to communicate relationship problems to outsiders such as family and friends rather than to your significant other, it might be time to move on.
3. Lack of physical intimacy. Nicole McCance is a relationship expert and couples therapist and she says that a lack of physical intimacy can be indicative of a relationship that is deteriorating. While it is not the case that all couples engage in sexual acts, it should be a cause for concern if you notice that your sex life with your partner is deteriorating.
‘If you’re not having sex but you’re busy with the kids or with work, or you’re in a situation where having sex isn’t easy, like if you’re living with your in-laws, that’s normal.’ McCance adds, ‘But if you haven’t had sex in a while and it’s not bothering you, that’s a red flag.’
4. You envision a future without them. In the first stages of love, the honeymoon stage, it is common to regularly think about that person and fantasize about a future with them. But Nicole says that if you are regularly thinking about or envisioning your life without your significant other then it might be time to plan for your future without him or her.
5. No eye contact. In an Insider article, they revealed that it is common for newlyweds to always stare at their partners. This is a sign of affection and wanting to be close to their loved one. But if you find your partner constantly averting your gaze or looking elsewhere, either at people or objects, then it might be indicative that your partner is no longer interested in you.
6. Your partner spends more time out. Relationship expert, April Masini said ‘if you notice a change in interest in your partner’s company, that’s a sign that the relationship is winding down.’ This could mean that your partner is trading in ‘date nights’ for a ‘guy’s night out’ or if your partner is constantly going out with her friends and co-workers rather than spending time with you.
7. You don’t enjoy talking to them anymore. This one might be a little obvious but if you find yourself constantly wanting to talk to someone else rather than your partner then that might be a sign that you no longer like that person. Nicole McCance says that people crave love and connection and even though you may not feel that in your current relationship, they still long for that in some form or another. Nicole explains: ‘you might even find yourself attracted to other people physically and that may surprise you. But that’s a warning sign that something’s missing from your current relationship.’
8. Your “love” gets replaced. And finally, your love gets replaced by something else that you didn’t even realize. Rachel says: ‘I’ve worked with a lot of couples who don’t even notice that they’re not in love anymore because they have small kids and they get so much love from them. The void is filled by the kids. That’s why so many marriages fall apart when the children individuate around their teen years.’
As mentioned earlier, we as human beings crave love and attention and while we may not necessarily get that from our partners we may get it from a different source without directly knowing it.
Rachel says that oftentimes couples who have kids and have been together for a long time deal with these issues because their love for each other is replaced by their love of their kids and the love their kids give them.
However, Rachel says that it is possible to fall back in love but it will take time and commitment. She said: ‘it’s not easy, especially when there’s a lack of sexual attraction. It takes a willingness to want to do it because a lot of the lost love is rooted in resentment that people carry with them for a long time.’
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