Most lists of “Things Women Shouldn’t Do” are just silly, but a recent one compiled by Bright Side is so ridiculous that it deserves a blow-by-blow breakdown. The list is not only inane and vaguely sexist (like most of them out there), many of the points make literally no sense. I mean, whoever heard of a lady not being allowed to finish her soup or wear a specific color of shoes?
I’m not linking to the original article (it’s doesn’t need the traffic) but if you want to see the highlights (or, perhaps, the lowlights), read on!
1. That Blows: Okay, the list starts off really promisingly, with an injunction not to blow on your food. To be a real lady, shovel the piping hot food directly into your gaping maw, pausing only to scream as the red-hot food sears off the roof of your mouth! That’ll show ’em!
2. Talking and Laughing Loudly: Because a real lady speaks only in the dulcet tones of a repressed 1950’s housewife who is one burned dinner away from snapping and committing a triple homicide.
3. Rapunzel, Rapunzel: The list continues in fine form with a commandment against dancing with your hair down. I wasn’t even aware that this was something that people considered un-ladylike, possibly because I’ve got 2012 Justin Bieber hair and thus, my hair is automatically up. Or, even more possibly, because this rule is stupid.
4. Made-up: Fun fact! Women who wear makeup to work are judged as more competent and earn higher salaries. So, before you go off about “women wearing too much makeup,” consider the crushing social pressure to do it! (Also, the woman on the right is wearing just as much makeup as the woman on the left, she just spent the 45 minutes – an hour making it look “natural.” And I’m not about that life.)
5. Eat, Drink & Be Merry: A True Lady™ would never refuse food or drink offered to her because of silly reasons like “I can’t drink,” “I’m vegetarian,” or “Life-threatening allergy!”
For more amazing Hot Takes on how to be a Real Lady, see ‘NEXT PAGE.’ And why not ‘SHARE’ on Facebook?