Giving birth is one of the most natural things any woman could experience. However, some new pregnant mothers might not know about all the different bells and whistles that come with giving birth. Some of which, are unfortunately very gross.
Let’s face it. Childbirth is beautiful, but it’s also super gross. It’s so primal that any and all bodily functions may happen at once. Sometimes, something will happen when you least expect it.
The following 8 gross things can occur during the birthing process. Fortunately, doctors and nurses are prepared for any and all of these events.
1. Poo Poo!: It’s embarrassing enough going to the bathroom in a public place, but it can be even more embarrassing when you have a spotlight in your nether regions and an audience to watch the whole thing. Fortunately, medical practitioners are prepared for such an event. It’s best to ignore it, and keep pushing. Sooner or later a baby will come out.
2. Pee Pee!: Of course, if you can’t hold your bowels, it’s common sense that you can’t hold your bladders either. Some nurses will insert a catheter during the epidural procedure, but when it comes time to delivering the baby all bets are off. I think it’s safe to say when you’re in the middle of pushing your guts out, this is the least of your problems.
3. Vomit: Childbirth is traumatic on everyone, but especially for the mother. Going through any kind of intense trauma like that will cause your body to upchuck. You wouldn’t be the first Mother to have this happen. Don’t worry.
4. The Mucus Plug: The wha? Okay, so there’s this plug that blocks all the bacteria from the cervix, and when you become dilated, your body loses the plug to let the body drain… you get the idea.
5. The Placenta Delivery: So your baby comes out of you and starts crying. You think you’re done and empty, then all of a sudden this huge sack of blood spews out of your lady-parts. Some nurses even have to push down on your stomach to ensure the nutrient blob emerges from your area.
6. One Word… Episiotomy: Unfortunately, some bigger babies have heads that just can’t quite squeeze out of you. The doctor’s solution to this? Slice your parts open! What better way to give birth to a child, than to fillet your unmentionables.
7. Uncontrolled Flatulence: It’s very common after your epidural that you cannot feel anything from the waist down. It is likely that you might be going toot-toot in someone’s direction without even realizing it.
8. The Baby: Holding your baby directly after childbirth is nothing like they present in the movies. When the time comes, they hand you a slimy, winkled, rodent-looking thing. But it’s your rodent, and often you’re so excited to meet your newborn that you can easily look past all those things and marvel at the true beauty of childbirth.