As everyone’s parents taught them, the internet is a barren, godless wasteland where you can’t look up the recipe for a nice coconut cream pie without some very careful wording (never skip the “coconut”). Coming across a true moment of innocence online is as charming as it is disconcerting.
Several recent Reddit posts asked people for the most startling displays of innocence that they had ever seen.
The responses ranged from cute to cringeworthy, from understandable to incomprehensible, from small to seismic. We collected the best stories for your reading pleasure!
1. “I was in third grade when we were having a lesson about addiction (the Catholic school version that doesn’t discuss drugs, alcohol, etc). So at some point, the teacher asked what people in our lives are addicted to, I remember proudly raising my hand because I got the concept. I proudly said, “My mom is addicted to Coke.” My mother, who drinks at least 3 cans of Coca-Cola a day, got a call from a very concerned teacher that afternoon and I got a lesson in what drugs are from my parents that night. My mom still laughs about it to this day. (tilltonightdouspart)”
2. “Was living in a not-so-nice area of the city with three roommates. Well, we here heading home one day when we passed a bunch of guys walking down the street with baseball bats. My one roommate says, “How are they going to play baseball with no gloves or balls?” Had to explain to him the area we live in and that someone is about to have a really bad day.” (Ulfbrand)
3. “My friend was cuddling with this guy and watching a movie. She recounted the story to us later and told us, “It was weird. It felt like his heart was beating in his pants!” This was freshman year of college. I wish I was kidding. (slothwhispererr)”
4. “When I was about five I was working in the garden with my mom. About 20 min in, I was walking over to my mom and I tripped over the gardening tool and shouted at the top of my lungs, “Get out of my way, you dumb hoe.” My mother turned around and started yelling until she looked down and saw the hoe. The next ten minutes were teaching time…” (JoshB657)