The French phrase “L’esprit de l’escalier” is the feeling you get when you think of a perfect comeback when it’s too late. Before the Internet, all you could do about it was re-enact the scene in your head, mourning the lost opportunity. But online, you have hours to craft a beautiful comeback.
Twitter, because of its 140-character limit and its instant sharing, is the perfect medium for the comeback. You can roast anyone, no matter where they live or how famous they are. It democratizes the roast, making it possible to roast anyone anywhere at any time.
Sometimes, of course, these comebacks go too far. But when they go just far enough? They’re comedy gold, and the perfect way to brighten up a boring day. If you’re ready for Twitter comebacks ranging from sick burn to self-burn, read on!
1. Donald “The Twitter President” Trump has gotten his fair share of roasts online over the years, but this one is especially funny. Clearly, this Twitter user’s art form is beautifully-crafted roasts of sitting presidents.
2. I can’t even write a funny caption for this because the mere concept of eating a banana with the peel on has me sitting here shivering in terror.
3. We all have different ways of expressing sympathy for friends in their times of hardship. Apparently, Ryan’s friends are just creative about the way that they do it.
4. I’ve heard of a lot of weird gender stereotypes in my life, but I think this one is the weirdest.
5. Emo dad is out here doing a public service for everyone in this world who considers pizza good and holy. Godspeed, brave soldier.
6. Twitter is filled with meaningless platitudes from would-be philosophers, and this Twitter-user is just plain tired of it. Or, he just has a paralyzing fear of money. You can decide!
7. The First Rule of Twitter: Roast not, lest ye be roasted in return. (And seriously, don’t try to roast someone for being unsuccessful if they could buy your entire life several times over!)
8. Now see, I’m genuinely unclear whether the person is roasting the original post or themselves. Either way, pretty funny.
9. Listen, StaxXx, none of us like being reminded how much of our year we’ve spent doing Buzzfeed quizzes with a bowl of cereal balanced on the edge of our laptop. You got what was coming to you.
10. Corporate Twitter is weird, especially when companies respond to tweets like they’re teens in an internet slap fight. It’s like watching your grandpa try to dab. But, on the bright side, it’s given us some beautiful roasts.
11. Personally, I think that “disputing someone’s credentials only to find out they know far more about the subject than you do” is the best and highest form of art.
12. The Second Rule of Twitter: If you’re uber-rich, and you try to garner sympathy about the hardships of your gold-plated life, it’s not going to go well.
13. Look, I’m not here to tell you how to live your life, but insulting a WRITER on Twitter just seems like a recipe for disaster.
14. I lied, I’m absolutely here to tell you how to live your life. Case in point: if you’re going to roast someone on twitter, perhaps use a better picture first?
15. Ah, the bond of love and fellowship between siblings, stronger than any other force on Earth. This tweet captures it perfectly.
16. And finally, my favorite Twitter comeback, which I think deserves to be lovingly preserved and hung in the Louvre to inspire future generations: