By no means would I ever consider myself a designer, let alone a wedding dress designer. But I’d like to think that I have a keen eye for what looks good and what doesn’t. Wedding dresses should be simple, aesthetic, yet elegant. It shouldn’t be anything flashy, risky or financially endangering.
A wedding day should be the celebration of the love shared between two people, regardless of gender. It should be the beginning of a lifelong adventure with a significant other.
Here are 8 wedding dresses that might make you want to say ‘I object to this union!’ at the altar.
1. Every man wants a wife who can be a good mother. One that can take care of the child, provide the love and care that every baby needs, and also be nurturing to their growth. But a wedding dress made of strictly diapers might be a little over the top.
2. It’s one thing to look sexy and revealing for your partner, but it’s totally different when all your family members (and his family members) are watching you walk down the aisle with next to nothing on.
3. I suppose this particular bride is expecting things not to work out quite so well because she already has wings on ready to fly away at the first negative sign.
4. A train for a wedding dress refers to that long tail that flows from the dress. Most brides tend to have 1, at most 2, people carrying their train. This bride however has nearly 30 people carrying it. I guess her dress contains a literal train.
5. Weddings are generally expensive, that’s why it’s important to make sure that you pick the right person to spend all that money and time (see: the rest of your life) with. I suppose a quick and easy way to lower costs would be to auction off parts of the wedding dress as advertisement. The highest bidder gets the biggest surface area of the dress!
6. I seriously don’t know what’s worse: the fact that the bride chose such a revealing dress for her big day, or that her father who is walking her down the aisle is looking at her like that.
7. This wedding dress really wouldn’t be so bad if it was sponsored by Pizza Pizza. Maybe it’s my stomach talking but the front of that dress looks an awful lot like an extra cheese pizza. It’s seriously making me drool. (The one on the right is a slice of pepperoni with some bacon.)
8. This bride genuinely looks menacing in that dress. She reminds me of a warrior princess going into battle. Decked out in her white armor, chain mail veil and that bouquet of flowers that doubles as a long sword, she’s ready to take on anyone who dares block her way to her husband.