The next time you feel like a superspy for smuggling candy into the movie theatre, spare a thought for the British woman who recently attempted to smuggle a bottle of vodka into a racecourse inside of a giant sandwich.
The unnamed woman hollowed out a baguette and casually stuck salami and tomatoes out the side of it to sneak her vodka into Southwell Racecourse, in Nottingham. Unfortunately, the careful disguise failed to hide how heavy the “sandwich” was, and security took it away after opening the sandwich to find the alcohol inside. They offered to return it to her at the end of the day, but she didn’t take them up on the offer, perhaps too embarrassed by being caught to return.
The course, impressed by her ingenuity, posted a picture of the sandwich on social media, and Twitter-users responded with their own disguises. Hiding alcohol is a time-honored trick, from the rumrunners of Prohibition-era New York to the attendees of “dry” family reunions today. Here are the eight best tricks people have used to hide their hooch.
1. Garters, for Starters: Most of the people who responded to Southwell’s call to show them their alcohol-hiding solutions showed pictures of alcohol bottles duct-taped to their thighs. Easy and convenient, and you can get them in fancier garter versions, but we can’t help hoping they have another solution if they put theirs on social media that casually.
2. Thighs of Steel: This age-old trick got a serious upgrade during Prohibition, when flappers would bring alcohol down from Canada concealed in thigh-holstered drums. These huge containers were essential back then for the bootleggers to turn a profit – or today, if you know your older relatives will spend your cousin’s wedding subtly asking why you aren’t engaged yet.
3. X Marks the Spot: A New York man obsessed with pirates and smuggling wanted to see if he could smuggle alcohol into the Electric Zoo music festival by burying it underground weeks beforehand. He and his pals used GPS and a map to find the location afterward. Jack Sparrow whom?
4. Untameable: If you’d like a practical solution for your booze-hiding, try hiding your alcohol in the purpose-built boozy hairbrush. Best of all, it actually functions as a hairbrush.
He was only caught when he dropped a crate of eggs. Whew! Easter just got exciting!
6. Breast Enhancements: A bra is a woman’s second pocket, and never more so than when the bra has secret compartments filled with your choice of wine or beer. On the other hand, it’s really weird to explain if you’re caught drinking out of that one. I think I’ll go with the ol’ boozy water bottle instead.
7. 8. Oh, Baby: This will not work. I’d like to say it now, this will not work, and I’m not responsible for when you get caught and permanently stricken from your great-aunt’s will. But hey, if you’re going to be shamed out of your cousin’s wedding either way, it’s not a bad way to go.
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