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Women Share Stories About Their Worst Experiences With The So-Called ‘Nice Guy’

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There’s that old saying “nice guys finish last.” In this case, there’s probably a reason for that.

Nice guys aren’t always nice.

A recent Reddit thread popped up, allowing users to share their experiences about dealing with so-called “nice guys” and the responses ranged from humorous to downright tragic. There’s no great secret that a lot of women have to put up with men being ridiculous, misogynistic, chauvinist pigs. It’s unfortunate that a lot of these men also hide under the veil of sheep’s clothing, so to speak. The following 25 testimonies are from people who wanted to speak up about their experiences.

1. Lean on Me!: A random dude saw me walking down the stairs with crutches and offered to hold them for me. He seemed really cool and nice. He joked about how he once broke a foot, and that I’ll heal in time, etc. We get to the bottom of the stairs and he asks if we could get some coffee. I thank him but tell him I’m seeing someone. So he just drops my crutches and walks away. (Reddit user: Monastic)

2. Sweet Talker: A guy once personal messaged me saying “Hey girl, you’re so beautiful. You look like you’re really good in bed.” So I asked him how he’d feel if someone spoke to his sister like that. He immediately blew up and told me he’d kill me for talking about his family like that. Makes sense. (Reddit user: CharlieBear26)

3. High School Drama: I met a guy in high school who was actually really nice. We would talk and hang out at lunch. One day, he called my house at 2 AM repeatedly until I answered and told him it’s too late to talk. He did this a few more times when finally my sister answered for me and told him to stop calling. He called her a horrible name and stopped calling. The next day at school he stalked me, yelled at other guys who were talking to me, and finally after about a week of this he finally left me alone. (Reddit user: Refinnej808)

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4. The Unexpected Friend-Zone: I was friends with this guy for a couple years, but never interested in dating him. I was fairly certain he was aware of that, and he never said or did anything to prove to me otherwise. He never made any comment and never suggested he wanted anything more. I got a new boyfriend, and I updated my status on Facebook. My “friend” calls me within two minutes of this update and immediately starts shouting at me. After I attempted to salvage the conversation, apologized if he felt deceived and reminded him that he should have said something, he flat out screamed at me. That’s the last time we spoke. (Reddit user: EmiliusReturns)

5. Funeral Drama: When I was a teenager, my favorite person in the world passed away unexpectedly. After the funeral, we had a wake at the pub. After the family came back to our house to chill. My cousin brought his girlfriend, who we knew and liked, and another friend (a boy) we’d never met. I spent the day crying and at some point cousin’s girlfriend came up giggling and told me “our friend really likes you.” I said I wasn’t interested but she kept prying. After a half hour or so she comes back and says “he’s outside crying because you rejected him. He wants you to go out there and cheer him up.” I got my uncle to go out and tell him to bugger off. (Reddit user: summersintheair)

6. Nice Guy Friends: I’ve had quite a few “nice guy” friendships. Guys who stopped talking to me after I made it clear I wasn’t interested in dating them. The worst was a guy who was legitimately my friend for 2 years and didn’t mind I wasn’t interested. In the end, he called me a whore and told all of our mutual friends that I played him. He was such a jerk. (Reddit user: deleted)

7. Tumblr Fumbler: I was 16 and very lonely. I posted something on Tumblr so people would message me. I added a 26 y/o guy from NYC. I’m from Switzerland so the time zones were different. In my mind, it seemed clear that I didn’t want anything romantic because of the 10-year difference and time zone change. After massaging for a while, he told me he wanted me to be his GF. I told him I was only looking for a friend. He LOST it. He began insulting me, telling me I lead him on, and I ended up having to block him. I never made another post to meet new people online after that. (Reddit user: gaypunk)

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8. Online Dating Jerk: I had an online dating profile, and I got a really creepy message that went on and on about my looks. He also said how other men didn’t deserve my attention and were stupid compared to “genuine” guys like him. It was super creepy and I never even talked to him before. My account was relatively new. After that, I took down my profile pic and went without one. (Reddit user: OTL_OTL_OTL)

9. Plenty of Rotten Fish: A dude sent me what seemed like a really nice message on Plenty of Fish. I was excited. I read it on my phone with the intention of replying when I got home. Within two hours, he sent me a diatribe about how crappy of me it was to not respond right away. He got blocked and I was done with PoF. (Reddit user: TinkerBecca)

10. NO THANKS: Became friends with a guy in college. After grad, he got a job and moved in with his girlfriend an hour away. I drove out one Saturday to visit. He waited till his girlfriend was in the bathroom before he told me the following: My boyfriend probably had a low sperm count due to his profession, and if I wanted a family he’d be willing to “take me back” … even though we’d never been together. Yeah… haven’t seen him since. (Reddit user: duckspunk)

11. NotOkCupid: OkCupid seems to be swarming with awful guys. I was on there about three years ago looking for friendship, and maybe the casual date. I went out on a date with a guy who seemed very interesting and was very nice. Afterwards, he violently assaulted me and is now in jail for 7-15 years. A piece of crap. Stay away from OkCupid. (Reddit user: voixxy)

12. Uninvited!: I met a guy at work briefly, and later he friended me on Facebook to ask me out. I said I wasn’t looking for a relationship, especially with my work troubles. He says he’s fine with friendship and tells me he understands. Over the next few weeks, he sends me a bunch of messages about mundane things, but I don’t really respond much. Then one day I wake up to a text saying “I was GOING to invite you to a party, but I see you’ve been hanging out with other people. It’s too bad, I guess I’ll delete you. I could have loved you forever.” What a tool. (Reddit user: IThinkImDumb)

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13. The Campus Tour: I went to a high school that was on a college campus. It was fairly scary for 17 y/o me. I was a little pudgy and really shy. An older man who often gave campus tours was really friendly with us high schoolers, especially us Muslim gals. He’d help us find our classes and navigate the campus in the early weeks. He was so helpful, I grew fond of him. Then he got my email address, and he started telling me about the dreams he had about me, about what I looked like without my scarf, his fantasies, and how wonderful it would be to mature our relationship in the senior year. Apparently, it wasn’t enough for legal action against him, and I had to avoid him for the next year. (Reddit user: deleted)

14. Divorce Changes People: I had a 10-year-long friendship with a guy. I started dating a new guy in our mutual circle of friends after my divorce. It was like a switch had been flipped with him. Suddenly in his eyes, I was a floozy who destroyed men and spent the next 6 months trying to get the boyfriend to break up with me. The weird harassing behavior just went on and on. It was not clear to me and my boyfriend if the “nice guy” wanted to date me. Either way, he was way too salty about our relationship. (Reddit user: scythematters)

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15. Tragic Seafood Ending: Met a guy on a dating site who described himself as nice and respectful. We met at a seafood restaurant and he actually really was nice and respectful. We had a good dinner, but didn’t really “click.” He seemed perfectly fine but just not for me. After dinner, I put my money down for my portion and wrapped up. He asked when he could see me again, and I told him although I had a good time I’m not sure a second date would work out. “Good luck dating!” The guy flips out, bolts up knocking his chair over and shouts at me that I’m easy and wasted his time if I wasn’t going to put out at least I could have paid for his meal. I stopped doing dating sites. (Reddit user: deleted)

16. Road Rage: I went out on a date with a guy and we really hit it off. He was super funny, intelligent, and not to mention really nice. I decided “Why not” and went back with him to his place. He was really nice, and I wasn’t threatened by him at all. We get in his car, and maybe 5 minutes into the drive, another car cuts him off, and this guy goes absolutely crazy. He starts ramming his car into the other guy’s bumper, honking, and eventually, they both stopped on the road. He gets out and starts going nuts on this guy who was really just an innocent old man. I got out of the car and called a cab. He tried texting but I just blocked him. Super crazy. (Reddit user: deleted)

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17.  High Expectations: I was dating a guy who was really nice. We moved in together. Awesome. Then suddenly he starts expecting me to cook all his food, buy our groceries, take care of the bills and do the housework. Then tells me I need to go to the gym and stop eating. Tells me how poorly my parents raised me. He told me he was just being nice and trying to help me. Needless to say, we are no longer together. (Reddit user: caseyjosephine.)

18. Mom’s Crazy Boyfriend: My father walked out on my mom and me when I was young, but that isn’t what this story is about. My Mom dated this guy, let’s call him Barry. Barry was super nice to me and her. He’d pick me up from school, buy me clothes, treat me like his own kid. Barry and my mom got along so well, that we let him stay with us for a couple weeks as a ‘trial run’ to moving in. Well, during that time, Barry turned into a crazy person, giving us orders, forcing us to make his meals and even put the moves on me. It was such a crazy 180-degree switch. My mom kicked his butt out of our house and we never saw him again. Now my mom has a new boyfriend and he’s legitimately awesome. (Reddit user: deleted)

19. A man named R: I went to a small college in northern Colorado. In my freshman year, I befriended a nice guy named R. R ended up getting into a fraternity. I went on a few dates with a guy from R’s frat house, and I thought things were going well until he stopped talking to me. Then everyone in the fraternity and some sororities started giving me funny looks. Turns out R was pissed I wasn’t dating him and told everyone I had AIDS. I ended up transferring schools. (Reddit user: TheBrontosaurus)

20. The Mormon: I was dating a Latter-day Saints guy (Mormon) and assumed he wants to have some fun and get to know each other without any of the physical stuff. (I was taking a break from casual stuff.) After a month, we’re making out, and he decided to assault me without discussion or consent. He called the next day to tell me I was too tempting and that he didn’t want to see me anymore and that I jeopardized his place in heaven. (Reddit user: TPARTA)

21. This is SPARTA: I saw a guy who was a jock. Although he was your typical meathead type who played Football and was in a Fraternity, he was genuinely really nice. We dated for a while and enjoyed goofing around in the bedroom. One time while he was drunk, he shouted “THIS IS SPARTA” and kicked me full force directly in the stomach so that I fell on the bed. I barfed. He didn’t even apologize. When I tried telling him that he actually hurt me when he did it, he got upset and told me I was an idiot and broke up with me. What even? (Reddit user: deleted)

22. That Escalated Quickly: I hung out with a guy for awhile then invited him over to watch TV. I told him flat out that I’m not looking for a relationship and please don’t ask me to be more than friends. I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship. Of course, that translated to him asking me out via text as soon as he got home. When I declined, I was subjected to every slur you can think of and told what an idiot I was for passing up such a stand-up guy. Then he stalked me for 2 years. (Reddit user: VivatRegina)

23. Middle School Woes: The worst “nice guy” experience I ever had was in middle school. We were maybe 12 or 13. I was friends with this kid, who was kind of small and awkward but we got along and talked a lot about science. He gave me an anonymous note that said he was very shy but it’d be really great if I could call him one time. Not being interested in dating at the time, I just ignored it. Later in the year, we were both in a play, and when it finished he and I were standing in the line to bow. This required us to hold hands. As soon as I held his hand, he grabbed my pinky, twisted it, and broke it. I suspected our relationship wouldn’t have gone too well. (Reddit user: fysiel)

24. A Real Winner: My high school boyfriend said all the right things. I feel in love, and he made my family fall in love with him too. We married and I got the white picket fence. We had three kids. We were living the American dream. Everything was perfect. Fast forward six years, he ghosted on me and the kids with my best friend. They’re not married and he signed away his parental rights to the kids. He just straight up dumped us all to start a new life with my now (ex) best friend. He claims he’s a nice guy. (Reddit user: jonesinforcassierole)

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