Every so often, a man comes into your life that manages to sweep you off your feet. Unfortunately, a lot of men are also completely clueless, sometimes downright creepy, when it comes to hitting on women.
The art of subtlety is lost on quite a few people, and sometimes when guys try to flirt with a woman they find attractive, they aren’t thinking properly and end up saying some inexcusable things. Sometimes guys will even imply downright criminal grooming behavior to rope in women to their charms. It’s awful. Thankfully most men AREN’T like this, but you get the occasional ringer that gives you a run for your money.
The following 24 people took to Reddit to share their most embarrassing, hilarious, and tragic stories about how men made really terrible attempts to talk to, hit on, and flirt with them.
1) Condolences: My boyfriend was killed by a drunk driver in a horrible car wreck a year ago. He was cremated because his remains were so bad. I’m attending college, and at the time it happened I was walking across campus when his mother texted me that the cremation was complete. I fell to the ground in tears. A guy came to pick me up and hugged me. I cried into his shoulder and told him everything about how “My boyfriend died” … to which he responded, “Well, do you want a new one?” (Reddit user: cactusflowercorpse)
2) Awkward Obsession: I played a Mass Multiplayer Online for a while, and I met a guy who was a couple years older than me. We talked for a very long time over the course of a few months, and I seriously considered dating him despite him being three states away. Until he told me he had a Cannibalism Obsession. Not the actual desire to eat people, but the idea gets his rocks off imagining beautiful women cooking him and eating him. That’s the last time I spoke to him. (Reddit user: JoffreysDyingBreath)
3) The Plane Crash: When I was away on vacation with my family, I met a man at our hotel who started hitting on me by the pool, and told me that he could sense that my plane was going to crash the next day and that I should stay there with him. I was 14 and he was in his 30s or 40s. (Reddit user: Elcyis)
4) The Anime Fantasy: This guy in my class told me that we were destined to be together. His rationale was that we lived several previous lifetimes as lesbian lovers in an alternate universe where anime was real. He called me by my ‘true name’ (some awful anime character that he liked) and he corrected my school papers with my “true name.” He kept a notebook about all our future stories together, picked out our kids’ names, and even designed my wedding dress. We talked casually a few times in class but that was it. (Reddit user: shinkouhyou)